Christmas and the holiday season can be a stressful time for many people.
Whilst it can be a wonderful time to come together with friends and family it can also be a demanding time, adding pressure to ourselves and our relationships to meet certain expectations.
Whether you are spending this time with loved ones, or spending it alone, these tips to Surviving Christmas were thought to support you through challenges in the lead-up to Christmas and help you manage expectations, reduce emotional stress, navigate difficult situations, and improve your enjoyment over this holiday period.
For some, it is as simple as fatigue after a busy year, while for others bigger emotional issues rise to the surface.
Psychologist Karen Nimmo has some coping strategies to share:
It really doesn’t help that when we get to the end of the year, we’re all exhausted to begin with.
When you finish work, there’s still a mountain to climb before you get to Christmas Day. You’re buying things, there’s a lot of logistics and a ton of cooking / gifting to organize.
On top of everything, when we’re tired, that increases our emotional vulnerability to things going wrong.
The next thing is financial stress, and that’s a big one. Over the last year, we have all been affected by the increase in the cost of living, which has added financial pressure for many. As Christmas is often a time when money is spent on food and presents, we encourage you to take the opportunity to focus on what is important to you this time of year.
Spending time with the people you care about and doing what you enjoy can create a break from day-to-day stressors of trying to keep everybody happy and lifting the added financial burden.
Christmas comes with expectations of togetherness and that can put pressure on people who might be alone or unhappy.
“I think most people understand there’s an underbelly to Christmas that’s not particularly tasteful, and that’s the domestic violence statistics that go up, the drinking, the addiction problems. A lot of people are worrying and struggling at this time of year with mental health issues.”
Nimmo says she’s had clients who just avoid the day altogether to dodge the stress and pressure that comes with it. She says that, for many, Christmas is a day that reminds us of loss, and it might just be the first Christmas without a family member who may have passed away.
“You can put on a bright face, but you can’t force people to be jolly.”
She says there are things you can do to make the day easier. For instance, structuring the day and planning the meal.
Nimmo says it can help to take some of the hype out of Christmas and remember it’s just another day in the calendar - It doesn’t have to be the best day you ever had, the most together, the most glorious, the best food. It can be just another day if that’s what is going to work for you, and I think that’s important.
There’s also the problem with family members that get under each other’s skin. Nimmo says we need to emotionally prepare ourselves for these encounters which are often unavoidable.
“If you can’t move your placemat to the other end of the table, then you really do need to think about how to manage that uncle or sister, that they just don’t get on with.
“In families, we have old roles that we settle into and those are very hard to bust out of. We’ve got the spoiled older sister, or the bossy younger one, and we somehow revert to those people.”
The other thing to be aware of is alcohol intake. Many families and people start drinking very early in the day which can lead to shenanigans later on in the afternoon or evening. Nimmo says we should monitor our intake before anyone else.
“We know that, with couples, their worst and most violent fights happen when there’s alcohol or drugs in the mix. At all costs, that should be cut down or avoided - not to be a party pooper - but at least reduced.”
So, it doesn’t matter if it’s a jolly good time if your well-being is not being considered.
Amidst the giving and sharing, your well-being should not take a backseat. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and taking care of yourself is essential for enjoying and providing joy during the holidays
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