At the end of each year we all think about new goals, and dreams, and changes for the new year, and in those last days, of a year that’s about to finish, we envision our dream life and our dream self, that mistakes and obstacles have never allowed us to really be, or become, but that somehow, in the upcoming year, we'll make it happen. And this is where the problem lies: dreams. Your dream self did not think about mistakes and problems, your dream life, envisioned at the end of the year, did not account for the economy, a global epidemic, the government or even your family, your job because, make no mistake, these things affect your life. These parts of yourself are intrinsically connected to who you are and eventually take a part in your dream life – not that they are responsible for it, but they need to be accounted for. If you have a nice family you could maybe involve them in your goals, and ask for their help. If you have any toxic relationships, you need to get rid of them. And when we do not account for all those parts of ourselves that are connected to who we are and where we want to go and who we wish to be, our dreams shatter. The image you had of how perfect your life would be kind of fades away, and we give up on those goals, very quickly, because they start to seem impossible, like a strategy our brain provides us not to take responsibility for something that would take us out of our comfort zone. So here are some tips for a different year, or even better, a different style of goal-setting:
1. Make an assessment of your life prior to setting your goals:
Let me explain what this means – Before setting goals or aiming for new flights, you need to really understand how your life is, what needs to change and how to do it. To put it in simple words, you need to be thankful first to understand what you really need and what may be unnecessary. Sometimes what we envision in our heads of a dream life, is only one eye-opening moment away. Know that saying “you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone?”. Well don’t let it be you. Before you start setting goals, realize what you already have, how much you have already accomplished and your goals will be put in a different perspective.
2. Set realistic goals:
Don’t write down on that goal list that you’ll start waking up at 5 am to go to the gym if you’re not an early-bird. If you need to start working out, which is great for your health by the way, set a realistic time to go to the gym. Go at night. Use a work-out app and ask your friend / roommate / spouse to encourage you and, most importantly, to make you have accountability. The main difference between responsibility and accountability is that responsibility can be shared (you can say the alarm clock was responsible for you not waking up early enough to go to the gym, and so you’re off the hook) while accountability cannot. Being accountable not only means being responsible for something but also, ultimately, being answerable for your actions. Whether the goal is related to your health, your work (changing jobs is one that people start coming up with a lot of excuses), or even your household, just make sure you account for everything, and everyone involved.
3. Ask someone you trust to help you with your strengths and your weaknesses:
Knowing yourself is a great step towards defeating unforeseen obstacles. Many times, we have impulsive reactions, things we do without thinking when something unexpected happens. When things don’t go according to planned is generally when we lack the ability to get back on track, to tackle the problem and have that solution-oriented mindset that’s necessary to not give up. Knowing ourselves, with the help of others, can actually make you a better person if you are willing to listen to what you need to improve, with a mindset of growth and change.
Of course, these are just tips. The best way is always to be honest about who you are, what are your needs and desires and where you want to be in the end of this new year. Achieving this year’s goals is up to you and you alone! You must be your number one fan, your own cheerleader, know yourself and dive into the changes you want for your life.
Best of luck, your teachers!
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