We have become so impatient that we can’t stand waiting for the elevator for 10.5 seconds in silence, without grabbing our phones... Internet is not working well if a page takes 2 seconds longer to open, I’ve witnessed people check phones once the car stops at the red traffic light
And what do we gain with those 10.5 seconds? A honk from the car behind us, because the light is green and we haven’t started moving, a tap on the shoulder when the line starts moving and we haven’t noticed… so, are we really trying to make the most ouf of our times, or is time slipping through our hands?
Of course we should not waste time but I feel that the sight of a successful person is the one carrying the coffee mug, in the middle of the street, getting into their car, as we clearly see that person didn’t even had time for breakfast and needs to get to work a.s.a.p.
Time is definitely a valuable thing and though we shouldn’t become obsessed with it, time is more important than money because it is the one thing we cannot get back - It’s the clock that never stops and it will end one day.
But time has become an obsession for the new breed of high achievers. All this motivational content we have access to, makes us feel like we have to achieve so much more than we really do. Success feels more and more something very hard to achieve, but why?
Our life feels like a race because we look at what everyone else is doing and then compare it with our own results. When you look at other people, you’ll see:
– They’re married – They own a house (or two) – They have kids – They have perhaps found their dream job – They’re very fit – They have more followers than you
Who defines success? Who puts a timeline on when these things should happen, or even why you need to do all of them? It almost feels like a shopping list that you cross out along the corridors of life.
We can all have different ideas for success, different timelines and, of course different goals in life. I have friends who don’t want kids. Others can’t stand the idea of getting married. Others value their gym membership more than a fancy house… and that’s all OK!
It is basically a trap to think that by crossing out this list will make you happier, when people haven’t even bothered to know themselves first. I have students who don’t know what they like, or what makes them happy. When asked how they would define themselves, they answer: I am a dentist. To which I reply, “that’s what you do, not who you are!”
Women for example have this very weird notion that when they get married, they’ll feel safe. And then comes financial problems in the marriage. When they have kids, they’ll know what true love is, and then the kids make choices the mother doesn’t approve. We face so many challenges in life that one thing we should have realized by now – Nothing in life should be taken for granted and it’s impossible to guarantee anything will happen at a given time. If you push it, it will definitely not work!
There is power in living with the confidence that anything could happen at any time, but you’ll be able to overcome any obstacle or adversity”
If we don’t come to terms with this, and we try to control every aspect of our lives, then when life knocks you down, you’re going to experience extreme pain. Life is not like on Facebook or Instagram. And if we try to make it look that way and fail, we could face drug abuse, alcohol, out of control sex (the bad kind), mental illness, sickness and unemployment.
You are not late / early
These time indicators of success, to graduate, get married, have kids, find a dream job and live in a fancy house are a pure myth! Sorry! Life is not a race with your peers to see who achieves what first. Think about it… are you living your life for yourself or others?
When you think you are falling behind because of an obstacle, at another point in time, you will catch up and progress one hundred miles in front of where you thought you would be. There will be moments of massive momentum, and then moments of incredible failure. It’s all gravy.
Make sure you know yourself and what you want!
Married people envy the life of the single ones, the single guys wishes he had someone to go back to every night. The grass will always be greener on the other side. But what do you really want? What makes you smile when you close your eyes and let your mind wonder off?
Make sure you don’t end up with a life that feels estranged to you.
Know yourself and have a clear idea of what you wish to accomplish in life… no deadlines, no comparisons
Your wants will also change with time so, embrace uncertainty and learn how to be patient on life. Now that you know that this race is a myth and everybody got caught up in it, you can actually slow down and enjoy the view. Some of the most successful people alive, say that what they wish they could do is to go shopping incognito, have some privacy and even enjoy the little things in life, like having coffee in a cafeteria on a rainy day, enjoying a sunset on the beach or leaving their phone aside for just a weekend. These people feel trapped.
So, slow down
Enjoy where we are right now. We can be happy with all the things we’ve accomplished rather than dwelling on what we think we should have already completed. We can sit at the park and watch the birds or the kids play. We can hang out with friends and be fully present without a phone in sight. We can eat an incredible meal and enjoy every bite. Just stop running
When you start doing that, you’ve opened your eyes, and created immense possibilities in your life. Open up to whatever life throws at you knowing you are capable to deal with the different seasons of life. Slow down to enjoy a song and have some coffee, and see the smile on your kid’s face before you head off to work.
I hope you guys quit the race, and enjoy life instead.
POEM – Life is not a race
Author, Unknown
Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Do not let your years slip through your fingers by living in the past, nor in the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been,
but also where you are going.
Life is not a race,
but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
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