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Dealing with emotions at work



Anger, joy, sadness, jealousy, fear or anxiety, these are just some of the emotions that may be part of your daily life, and that you may experience even daily, in certain doses. But how do we deal with these emotions at work, when we know it is not really best to show your feelings or at least not being led by them to make important decisions.


There seems to be a fine line between being professional and being completely emotionless. But we need to find the balance. If you mostly work with people (clients, customers, suppliers, technicians), the need to show some level of emotion is there, because customers snap, clients cancel projects after weeks of hard work, and bosses and co-workers will get on your nerves eventually. So how do we manage our emotions so that we don’t see ourselves in a soft spot, or let them cloud our judgment when making decisions.

Here are some tips to help you pay attention when your blood starts boiling or when your patience is running out:


1. Separate things very well / Compartmentalize

It is of outmost importance to monitor your emotions and behaviour, especially if your mood swings will affect different environments. Meaning – do not allow your problems at home to affect your job, and vice-versa. With online working this has risen to a whole different level of difficulty. But it is important to have a moment of transition from your home time to your work period (which would be your commute period in normal circumstances) to tell your mind to let go. For some people, putting these thoughts and feelings in a box, to deal with later, actually works. But tackling those emotions heads-on, and learning how to transition from an emotion of anger, if you just had a fight with your spouse for example, to an emotion of alertness and focus, as in “ready to work”, will serve you better.


Once at work you still have to monitor a couple things, like paying attention to your physical response to things like blushing, or if your breathing speeds up, or your tone of voice swings. The trick here is not to react too quickly, but as you hear/ deal with the person or situation, be aware of your body language and intentionally relax certain parts of your body that become tense, take deep breaths and avoid thoughts of prompt replies as in “again with this?”, or “seriously?” or even “get to the point!” because negative self-talk will eventually transpire in your body somehow.


2. Know yourself

To know oneself and, more specifically, what triggers you, can actually keep you out of trouble most of the times. You need to be able to recognize what angers and upsets you, this way you can prepare yourself, as the situation settles in, to relax and calm down. You may also work on observing others, even when you’re not involved in the situations because this might help you anticipate the other party’s reaction.


3. Be respectful and constant

To be respectful will never go wrong, whether the person is your superior or even a subordinate, every job needs to be dealt with respect and gratefulness. Constancy will help you and others in your work relationships. If people can predict how you’ll react to a help request, they won’t be afraid to ask you for something or even extend their help if they see you in need. Do not forget that we shouldn’t do to others what we don’t want done to us or what you give is what you get.


4. Deep breathing and relaxation

If people actually knew how powerful breathing alone can be, they would practice it more often. No, we’re not talking about the breathing that keeps you alive, we’re talking about taking deep breaths, inhaling and exhaling consciously and counting to 10 until your body relaxes and your brain follows. You can also take a walk around the block or, in case you can’t, just excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, so you can have a moment of peace and clarity away from the heat. It is important to physically distance yourself, while you are not able to do it mentally. This technique may take some time to adjust to, but if you are consistent with it, you’ll eventually master it and cool down in tense situations where you once would have exploded.


5. Have an escape valve

Whether it’s yoga, piano lessons, MMA, boxing or simply a friendly shoulder to vent, it is important to have an escape valve that helps you clear your head form the anger, anxiety, and even body tension you might have accumulated throughout your work day. Instead of losing your cool at work, or even at home, your body will be able to accumulate that energy until the time is right to vent or let that anger out of your system. Exercise is also a good way to get a nice dose of mood-enhancing endorphins.

Whatever you think you can’t handle right now, at home or work, you just need to learn how to deal with it. If you focus on improving yourself and your reactions to situations, in no time you will have a plan for every single one of your triggers. Just remember to not react on your emotions but, instead, stop and evaluate the situation, try to find something positive in it and smile even if to yourself, because nothing is too serious that can’t be dealt with, especially if it’s not a life-or-death situation, our emotions just make us act/ feel like it is.

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